somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
