help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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