And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
