if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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