Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
