Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
