I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
