I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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