I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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