There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
