I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Sorry about my life...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
