I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
