You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
