I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
