so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
