Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize