you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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