are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
