I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
