So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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