ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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