in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
