Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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