Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
