We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
