ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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