i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
