We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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