Whatcha textin bout Willis?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
