guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
