Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
