who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
