wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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