Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Do vagina's smell?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
