Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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