Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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