I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
