Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Don't make out with my wife yet
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
