dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize