Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
