When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
