I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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