at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
