WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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