He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
