Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
