You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
