Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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