so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Your cock deserves a montage
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
