I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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