I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
