Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
its liver damage thursday
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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