Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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