She even gives head with a lisp.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
