So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
there is glitter all over my balls
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
