I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
