its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize