He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
