aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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